rain rain go away, that's what all my haters say

Sitting on the plane,
coming home to 29 degree Chicago
from 80 degree Sarasota,
between my two sleeping parents,
writing my english paper,
Death of a Salesman=
booooooooooo

heeelllo

Teenage Dirtbag

I watched Teenage Dirtbag over the weekend, and I love this poem that Thayer reads.  Its so much more powerful hearing him read it, but I couldn't find a video. I highly recommend you watch it. 

This part you play in the room

Nobody buys it

They all see right through you

Forever being lowered, waiting for them to love you,

they're not going to

Cause all you are is on your back.

You're not smart,

You're stupid.

You're not beautiful,

You're ugly.

Walking, talking, hoping, waiting, 

to be where you belong

on your back.

So give it away, kill it, smear it

Then try to pull it out of the dirt

desperate because you know

that all you have,

and all that you are

is on your back.

It reminded me of another poem I wrote a while ago

And I'm hesitant to let you read because it's a little bit edgy. 

But whatever, take it with a grain of salt. 

I in no way confirm that anything about this poem is a true story.

Anxiously waiting for the night to come.

You always talk, 

he says you’re the one.

Your friends try to warn you but you don't even care.

Perfect outfit, flawless makeup, 

three hours spent on your hair.

He walks into the room and every head turns.

You should have walked away, 

but the heart never learns.

He takes you upstairs and gets you on your knees.

Now he's got you, 

he knows 

You’ll do anything to please.

As the sun and horizon meet,

you begin to feel the ground 

beneath your feet.

You’re fading, 

hope is waning,

his intentions 

missed 

where yours were aiming.

When the pain sets in and the guilt begins,

he clutches his trophy, 

he 

always 

wins.

Clock is racing, heart is pacing.

Trying to avoid the reality you’re facing.

You waited for days, but no words will be said.

Your initials, 

he casually carves on his bed.



(9/3/2012) Funny side note to this poem. I tried to submit it to the Literary magazine at my high school durring my senior year and was not only declined because it was inappropriate, but I was actually refereed to the school counselor to make sure I was okay. 

Here's The Game Plan Kids.

Diet Coke runs through my veins.  There's no denying it, just accept it as fact.
Now, I realize that your gut reaction is to pity me because I'm different.
(because thats what we do with "different" people.
We simply "feel sorry for them" and call it a day.)
Next, you might ask yourself: "What exactly does this mean?"
Well, here are the basics:

A. If I were to give blood, upon impaling my bicep with a needle, one would be dumbfounded by the stream of carbonated caramel colored aspartame draining out of my limb.

B. If I ever survive a horrible accident and need a blood transfusion, do not be afraid! As opposed to the average human, whose blood is rare and outrageously valuable, my blood can be purchased by the gallon from McDonald's for merely a dollar.

C. If I were to ever find myself stranded on a desert island, I would not hesitate to make a small incision on my wrist and casually slurp my insides out.

D. Due to carbonation, I am very buoyant.  Therefore, I will never drown. Theoretically, I could survive while lost at sea forever! (I'm not sure why this rant is extreme situation themed with an emphasis on becoming stranded.)
You my be asking yourself-Sarah, what about food and water?
I'm WAAYY ahead of you.
Food-sharks.
Water-refer to point c.

E. I'm surprised that you've made it this far! Thank you for observing my absurdities. Have a wonderful evening.

Thanks Zeph

I watched the whole thing.
You're going to think I'm crazy
and then you'll watch the first 5 minutes
and understand.

ALL DAY

sick brah

I have the bestest friends eveeeer.
And I like frosted Wheaties.

word of the day: obscure

There is someone out there who feels just like me.

Today is one of those days that even the coziest sweats can't keep you warm.
And I feel like cuddling. Or spooning with Kelsey.
John was home this weekend :)

Things on my mind:
1. Johnny Knox's eyes.
2. Going to bed. Yes, it's 7:30..but it's also been dark for 3 hours already.
3. "Trust is a dirty word that comes from such a liar."

Classic.

I can't stop replaying it.

Let's Play the Waiting Game

"...so I responded, 'it's complicated.'
but then again
I am
bad."




conspiracy theories are my fav

I love you.

I Don't Know Who I Am

I feel like reality checks are becoming more and more a part of my life. I'm so busy trying to juggle everything that the simplest, most innate instincts go right over my head.  And it's so discouraging. All I want to do is add on to my never ending to do list but I neglect the commitments I have already made to chase after new exciting ones.  I'm inconsiderate and selfish, but I promise I'm going to work on it.

Being incarcerated sucks.
No, not in the state penitentiary sense.
Worse- my mother. 

I'm ill, not sick

Being sick bloooows.  I missed school Thursday and Friday (Today is still Friday, but you get the point.) so I have 4 tests to make up on Monday. I hate missing school.  People think I'm crazy but I really do.  I mean yes I love the actually not going to school part, but the stress when you come back is atrocious.  I have two teachers in particular who aim to make my life a living hell if-God forbid- I miss a day of the sheer brilliance they enlighten their students with.  Also, it has always been a rule in my house that if you're home sick from school there's no TV watching from 8 AM-3 PM. Thursday that was no problem considering I slept Wednesday night until 11:30 Thursday morning, ate some breakfast, watched half of a video on  cellular respiration, and went back to sleep until 6 PM.  However, today, I did kind of the same thing except I ate breakfast and such at more like 9 and was officially up by 12.  So this left three hours for none other than...COLLEGE APPS! That's all I will say because people bitch about them too much. But I digress... the point of this story is that upon getting distracted, I had a few revelations.

1. TOMS at my wedding.  I was browsing the TOMS store online, and happened to come across "Wedding Styles" under the Women's shoe options.  I never understood why brides wore heels under that huge dress anyways.  I know that I, personally, can't last more than a half hour in "pointy fucking shoes," as Max Bemis calls them. Now, I know I am getting a little ahead of myself here but if you happen to be reading this and could remind me when I am planning my wedding that I had this idea (because I tend to be forgetful, if you didn't know) I would greatly appreciate it.

2.  "In the movies its the good guy that gets the girl, in reality its usually the prick." Youth in Revolt is probably my new favorite movie.

3.  I don't have a third point. Disappointing. Goodnight.

Schools of Rock

So today's school day started badly and ended horribly as I progressed from potentially just groggy to undeniably sick.  Also, my college counselor is a brat.  He is a grown man and yet proceeds to act like a snotty teenager. But I have vented far too much about that subject so I will not waste your time with such fooleries.  HOWEVER, I came home, and as I was waiting for my tea to stoop I discovered the latest issue of Billboard Magazine had pleasantly arrived in the mail.  I flipped through it to find an article entitled "Schools of Rock" listing about 30 schools to gain a Music Business Degree. here's the preface:

It used to be that the school of hard knocks was enough to land you a gig in the music business-but no longer. With the contraction of the industry increasing the competition for jobs and the advent of ever-evolving digital technologies, graduates need a strong foundation in business to start on an executive track. Here, Billboard presents our first guide to the nation's music business schools and the innovative educators who are guiding the students of the industry.


Billboard highlighted four schools with a Q&A Column featuring the director of each of the four programs:
SYRACUSE, NYU, Miami, and Belmont


so cool. made my day. 

My Pumpkin Candle

African child, I brush my teeth to dat shit.

Say Anything

was awesome. Ironically, we got there (and by there I literally mean getting out of the car in the parking garage) only to find out I had left the tickets in my bedroom.  Kind of hilarious considering I was forgetful for Halloween. (I wore a dress with post it notes all over it.) In terms of Lacrosse, it was disappointing that we had to drop out of Field of Screams due to lack of enough players, but I don't know how I would have pulled off 4+ games and a concert.

Sammy Adams November 22nd whaaz gooood